----political anthropology at its finest
Right-wing conservative Christians live
in monogamous pairs
in lifelong heterosexual bonds along a very tiny strip
of the American habitat,
of the American habitat,
often choosing to live outside of cities in rural areas
where they can easily get to a river in order
to baptize themselves.
to baptize themselves.
Eating a variety of foods they trend
toward pizza and hamburgers
toward pizza and hamburgers
with potato salad or French fries
(which they point to as evidence of their broadmindedness)
(which they point to as evidence of their broadmindedness)
and for a beverage they choose Coors beer.
About 100,000,000 copies of the animal
remain in the wild.
remain in the wild.
Another 50,000,000 have lapsed
from their lifestyle
and have gone awol,
from their lifestyle
and have gone awol,
moving into the inner cities where they choose
instead of churches
to visit art museums and to become promiscuous
and instead of raising their young
they instead raise monuments to themselves
in the form of artwork
with their names scribbled large
with their names scribbled large
in the bottom righthand corner.
While they still have large enough numbers
to pass legislation
While they still have large enough numbers
to pass legislation
such as Proposition 8,
which would seem to preference their lifestyle,
which would seem to preference their lifestyle,
it is now the case that single judges
overturn their massive numbers,
overturn their massive numbers,
while thumbing their nose at them.
The pressure of capital continues to destroy
what remains of right-wing Christian habitat.
The pressure of capital continues to destroy
what remains of right-wing Christian habitat.
In blue state areas such people are told to keep silent
or they will lose their jobs.
or they will lose their jobs.
At universities
they are encouraged
to shut up about their opinions.
they are encouraged
to shut up about their opinions.
Many rightwing Christians continue to believe
in the Protestant work ethic
in the Protestant work ethic
and working to get ahead.
This outright form of capitalism doesn't get them very far.
This outright form of capitalism doesn't get them very far.
They are also encouraged to shut up about the Bible,
and what their preachers have told them,
and what their preachers have told them,
if they intend to hold jobs.
Atheistic socialism redistributes the money
of the right-wing Christian population
of the right-wing Christian population
to the lazybones who'd prefer to watch Reality TV
and live instead as if they are on Reality Tv,
but some rightwing Christians continue to exist
on jobs in auto parts stores,
on jobs in auto parts stores,
in furniture factories,
and working behind lunch counters.
and working behind lunch counters.
Rightwing Christian conservatives can
often be spotted by their imperviousness to fashion.
often be spotted by their imperviousness to fashion.
For instance,
a rightwing Christian conservative may be found
a rightwing Christian conservative may be found
wearing knee-high white socks instead of ankle socks.
When they are told that they really should get with it,
they shrug,
they shrug,
as if their mind is on something else.
The rightwing Christian male has a mane like a lion,
but is rather gentle.
The rightwing Christian male has a mane like a lion,
but is rather gentle.
He likes his hair long
and dreams that he is Samson or Jesus.
and dreams that he is Samson or Jesus.
Some rightwing Christians crop their hair
in the style of the Puritans.
in the style of the Puritans.
They never fight one another,
and spend their time in trees, eating, dreaming,
and spend their time in trees, eating, dreaming,
and completely clueless as to their nearly extinct status,
and unable to tell us whether they prefer communism
or laissez-faire capitalism,
or laissez-faire capitalism,
or some kind of socialist blend of the two,
but they go to church and they make up the people
who live beneath the steeple.
who live beneath the steeple.
When they pass the plate they are generous,
imagining that the money will go
to convert the savage heathens of Africa
to convert the savage heathens of Africa
and to institute laissez-faire capitalism with voting.
The rightwing Christian female pays very little attention to fashion,
and is often found in church basements
all over America
making green jello.
It
all over America
making green jello.
It
would
seem that
somewhere
in the rightwing
Christian conservative
philosophy is an approach
to identity politics
that
would
preclude the
demographics
of gender and race,
and instead frame
an all-inclusiveness
that would allow them
to reclaim their shrinking habitat
against the fiercely shrieking advocates
of political correctness.
However,
since the advocates of political correctness have seized
the White House,
the White House,
and much of the political power,
as well as the Universities,
there is very little the rightwing Christian conservative can do
to guard either his or her heritage or to argue
for the validity of their culture.
for the validity of their culture.
They are in essence a species or variety of human
that is going to shortly become extinct,
a massive cultural genocide that
may yet take another generation to complete,
may yet take another generation to complete,
but which at this point seems almost certainly to be on its way.
It is often pointed out
It is often pointed out
that America was founded
by rightwing Conservative Christians
by rightwing Conservative Christians
in the colony of Massachusetts in about 1620.
They were predominant until about the year 1920
when their habitat began to shrink.
when their habitat began to shrink.
At first they were no longer found along the coasts.
Then as the farms began to disappear
in the interior of the country
in the interior of the country
they melted into the cities and began
to live like animals just like the others.
to live like animals just like the others.
Very few true
upright rightwing Conservative Christians
can now be found.
upright rightwing Conservative Christians
can now be found.
While inner city people now dance
with their hands on the floors,
with their hands on the floors,
the rightwing Conservative Christians continue
to do a different dance altogether.
to do a different dance altogether.
It consists of eating chips before the television set
and occasionally crossing the leg.
and occasionally crossing the leg.
Sometimes they go down on their knees,
raise their eyes toward the ceiling,
raise their eyes toward the ceiling,
and close their hands
in prayer.
-kirby olson
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