the Prophet speaks

 

 

 

 

 

 

----political anthropology at its finest

 

 

 

 

 

 

Right-wing conservative Christians live
 in monogamous pairs

 in lifelong heterosexual bonds along a very tiny strip
of the American habitat,

often choosing to live outside of cities in rural areas

where they can easily get to a river in order
to baptize themselves.

  Eating a variety of foods they trend
toward pizza and hamburgers

with potato salad or French fries
(which they point to as evidence of their broadmindedness)

and for a beverage they choose Coors beer.

 About 100,000,000 copies of the animal
remain in the wild.

 Another 50,000,000 have lapsed
 from their lifestyle
 and have gone awol,

moving into the inner cities where they choose

instead of churches

to visit art museums and to become promiscuous

 and instead of raising their young

they instead raise monuments to themselves

 in the form of artwork
 with their names scribbled large

in the bottom righthand corner.

While they still have large enough numbers
to pass legislation

 such as Proposition 8,
which would seem to preference their lifestyle,

it is now the case that single judges
overturn their massive numbers,

while thumbing their nose at them.

The pressure of capital continues to destroy
what remains of right-wing Christian habitat.

 In blue state areas such people are told to keep silent
or they will lose their jobs.

 At universities
 they are encouraged
to shut up about their opinions.

  Many rightwing Christians continue to believe
 in the Protestant work ethic

 and working to get ahead.
This outright form of capitalism doesn't get them very far.

They are also encouraged to shut up about the Bible,
and what their preachers have told them,

 if they intend to hold jobs.

  Atheistic socialism redistributes the money
 of the right-wing Christian population

to the lazybones who'd prefer to watch Reality TV

and live instead as if they are on Reality Tv,

 but some rightwing Christians continue to exist
on jobs in auto parts stores,

in furniture factories,
and working behind lunch counters.

 Rightwing Christian conservatives can
often be spotted by their imperviousness to fashion.

For instance,
 a rightwing Christian conservative may be found

wearing knee-high white socks instead of ankle socks.

When they are told that they really should get with it,
they shrug,

as if their mind is on something else.

The rightwing Christian male has a mane like a lion,
but is rather gentle.

He likes his hair long
and dreams that he is Samson or Jesus.

 Some rightwing Christians crop their hair
in the style of the Puritans.

They never fight one another,
and spend their time in trees, eating, dreaming,

 and completely clueless as to their nearly extinct status,

and unable to tell us whether they prefer communism
 or laissez-faire capitalism,

or some kind of socialist blend of the two,

but they go to church and they make up the people
 who live beneath the steeple.

When they pass the plate they are generous,

 imagining that the money will go
to convert the savage heathens of Africa

and to institute laissez-faire capitalism with voting.

The rightwing Christian female pays very little attention to fashion,

and is often found in church basements
all over America
 making green jello.

It

 would

 seem that

somewhere

 in the rightwing

Christian conservative

philosophy is an approach

to identity politics

 that

 would

preclude the

 demographics

of gender and race,

and instead frame

an all-inclusiveness

that would allow them

 to reclaim their shrinking habitat

against the fiercely shrieking advocates

 of political correctness.

However,

since the advocates of political correctness have seized
 the White House,

and much of the political power,

as well as the Universities,

there is very little the rightwing Christian conservative can do

to guard either his or her heritage or to argue
for the validity of their culture.

 They are in essence a species or variety of human

that is going to shortly become extinct,

a massive cultural genocide that
may yet take another generation to complete,

 but which at this point seems almost certainly to be on its way.

It is often pointed out

that America was founded
by rightwing Conservative Christians

in the colony of Massachusetts in about 1620.

They were predominant until about the year 1920
when their habitat began to shrink.

At first they were no longer found along the coasts.

Then as the farms began to disappear
 in the interior of the country

they melted into the cities and began
 to live like animals just like the others.

Very few true
upright rightwing Conservative Christians
can now be found.

While inner city people now dance
with their hands on the floors,

 the rightwing Conservative Christians continue
to do a different dance altogether.

It consists of eating chips before the television set
 and occasionally crossing the leg.

Sometimes they go down on their knees,
raise their eyes toward the ceiling,

and close their hands

 

 in prayer.

     -kirby olson
























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