Wednesday, November 9, 2011

that men would lady chivalry once again entertain

 “I think they ( YOUNG IGNORANT WOULD-BE LOVERS
have to found marriage on friendship as well as on love,
 and they have to regard it not as ‘playing it safe’
but as one of life’s greatest adventures.
 Flying wing to wing, they can soar toward life’s lofty prospects;
 rowing oar to oar, they can sustain each other against life’s
stream of troubles.”

Amy Kass

Amy and her husband Leon actually believe that
the art of courtship should be taught again

Is this just another idealistic distraction
in a post post modern hopelessly fractured world

italics are mine

4 comments:

stu said...

jh,

Thanks for posting this. I liked it a lot. It certainly fits as a description of my marriage -- I was 21, she was 20. We were certainly young, and no more (or less) ignorant than all are at that age. But were were friends as well as lovers, and both the friendship and the love have deepened in the 33 years since. 'tis a great way to live and have lived.

sally said...

i find encouragement
in this advice about
marriage being an adventure
rather than a way of playing it safe

it is great when two are
flying wing to wing
or rowing oar to oar

but for me the power is in the thought
that marriage is no less an adventure
when one is not soaring
when there are no lofty prospects
within sight

i know i'm going beyond
what this particular quote is saying
but the first half of it
does mercifully reconnect me
to what i have learned from pema chodron:

that every experience can be
a doorway to greater love
to greater openness of heart

that even the experience
of not soaring
is part of the adventure
is part of the risk
of not playing it safe and
when accepted mindfully
and compassionately
without judgement
can be the doorway
to deeper love

WV: sings

jh said...

thanks for the light
form both stu
and sally

jh said...

i'm sure that one soars and one can't get off the ground at times

i'm sure that rowing gets out of sync

maybe an elbow gets thrown in once in awhile

i am so amazed that some people learn to love and trust in the context of personal intimacy
that seems to be a way of being so vulnerable
our weaknesses our sins have immediate observation
the tendency to turn away
to feel oneself insufficient
or prone to injury

i am a firm believer in chivalry
and i think young men should write poetry
and young women must be the catalysts to young men becoming truly good men

in a general sense it appears that the challenge of love has gone out of our culture

the kasses seem to be saying this

love is really difficult
intimate man woman love
it would appear
could only benefit from a return
to the awareness
that it is a life and/or death matter

amid all the joy and beauty that can be experienced a young man might do well to know that he is in way over his head when he is in love
and only a continued deepening of love
will bring him up to size

..yet

what do i know

i who flounder alone
as one
yes before christ

but so often

he is on the cross

jh